What makes a good parent?
A good parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the child.
What can make a great parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but also their intention.
A great parent doesn't need to be perfect. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set our expectations.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it does not imply that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first our children next. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Listed here are 10 tips for a terrific parenting experience, including how to avoid bad parenting, and be a much better parent.
They are not all that simple or fast.
And possibly nobody is capable of doing them constantly.
Although you may not always do all of these things, although the tips in this parenting guide will help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell the child of yours what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we are able to learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them into our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything their parents do very thoroughly.
Thus, function as the individual you want the child of yours to be - respect your child, show them positive attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show the love of yours.
There's no such thing as loving your child too much. To love them can't spoil them.
Just what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love may - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your child's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will acquire resilience and also never to mention a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we're. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Allow them to have positive attention. Drive with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive attitude.
These positive experiences produce excellent neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories of you your kid carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being constant will be the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be firm and kind when you establish rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good manner, rather than to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let your child know that you'll always be there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to the needs of theirs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and go back to.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive have better emotional regulation development, social skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a much better relationship with your child and your child will come for you when there's an issue.
But there's an additional reason for communication. You help your kid integrate different parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which various organs must coordinate and work in concert to maintain a trully healthy body. When various parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To do that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask your child to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not have to provide solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to become a good parent. Simply listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
A lot of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even people who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood might want to change several elements of the way they had been brought up.
But really often, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of just how you would get it done differently in a real scenario. Attempt to be aware and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Don't give up in case you don't succeed at first. It takes practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Focus on Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Give consideration to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including the own needs of yours or maybe the overall health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a child is born. When you do not take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Make time to enhance the relationship of yours with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Do not be afraid to ask for parenting assistance. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is important to rejuvenate the mind.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally will make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, your child will suffer, also.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to result in short term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting along with other children. They are much more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they are also more apt to parentinghowto lead to delinquency and oppositional behavior, worse parent child human relationships, mental health problems, and domestic violence victims or even abusers.
There are an assortment of more effective options to discipline which have been proven to be much more effective, like positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in increasing a kid?
When you are like most parents, you would like your child to do well in college, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
Though how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like the majority of parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole-Brain child, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Instead, find ways to switch every bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be transformed into invaluable brain sculpting moments if you concentrate on teaching your child, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
To parent is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a kid and information which are supported by science, here is among my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of medical knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every kid differs. Even within the very best parenting style, there can be a variety of effective parenting methods you can choose according to your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works best for your child.
Naturally, you are able to also decide to use "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and might still get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with different temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good point is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come later than the hard work. But in case we try our best today, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!